30 June, 2009

Gifts of Foregivenss

Growing up, Sunday's meant getting ready for church and attending mass as a family. Now that I am in my own family, raising 2 boys, I seem to struggle with the idea of family church going. For me, connecting to the Catholic Church is difficult. I long for something that is more encompassing than a male based God defined by men in a position of power and isolation from the Vatican. There just seems to be more of Jesus' story than the 4 gospels that were chosen for us in 313 AD. The "other" books might actually provide a fuller picture of Jesus’ life and legacy.

However, on these Sunday’s meant for rest and repose, I do listen to Christian Music that stirs my soul. The melodies find their way into our home and hearts quite easily. I also belong to a spiritual group called the The Magdalene Line; a group dedicated to the Diving Feminine as well as the Divine Masculine. Daily, I participate in a spiritual dialogue and actively contribute. My life is driven by the spirit within, daily. Daily Practice seems to be the true test of our spirituality, not the Sunday Ritual. But if you receive something out of the Sunday ritual, then great; I have not been able to hear anything there for some time.

This site struck a cord within. As I read through the story, my childhood abuse memories came to the surface quickly. Forgiveness is one of those concepts that seem to have many interpretations. Once I read this story, I wonder, "Was I given a gift to learn forgiveness? This must have been a great need of mine, as the gift was given at the age of 2. Not only was the gift given by my father’s sisters, but it was given to me by his mother in a completely different manner. There were little gifts too; I guess I really needed to learn this as a little soul.

Something unlocked inside that I have struggled with for 34 years! This is the spirit working among us and it is powerful!

This is what the Sunday Ritual should be. Even though I didn't attend mass this past Sunday, I am grateful to my routine as I have found something no priest was ever able to give me. Sometimes we need to hear a message a million different ways, in a million different languages before it clicks. Today and this morning it clicked.

What gifts did you ask for from God?

All shall be well, all will be well… Julian of Norwich.

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