18 July, 2009

Realizing Maturity

Today at the library I picked up the book Postsecret. I am in a reading program this summer at our library requiring me to read a staff pick, which this was. The boys are also in a summer reading program and have participated fully, winning raffle tickets throughout the summer.

Getting back to this book...

As I read the entries, there were times, I just wanted to put it down and erase my mind from the contents inside. I read many postcards full of anger, sadness, loss and dissatisfaction. The cards were negative and loathing. There may have been 2-3 entries that didn't make me cringe and were hopeful. Isn't that sad? Out of all the secrets kept, most of them were negative? Is this what secrets are, to keep bad things in?

When I finished the book, I realized, I no longer live in that space and time of anger and angst. I have every right to be negative and angry; anyone of childhood abuse earns that right through each abusive act. But as I grow and mature, I am learning to let it go and have consequently carved out a healthy, happy place to live. I matured and reading that book today, I saw my growth.

I pray we all find the love that exists in our hearts and realize it was and is always there. If we could see it for ourselves then we wouldn't wait for others to pull it out or allow them to take it away.

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