Yeah the ugly monster has left the building! (One this you should note about me, I am a huge Elvis Presley fan. Elvis's death was a defining moment in my childhood. When I heard the announcement in our old mint green metallic pick up truck, I turned to my mother and asked her if he died like my sister did. She responded yes and I asked how come, because he is a cartoon and they don't die. Up until this point, I thought all things on the TV were not real, but cartoons. It was then I realized the difference between real and not real on TV. I also realized that I really liked Elvis and knew he was in Heaven like my sister was. What a huge moment for a young girl to have). So yes the ugly monster has indeed, "Left the Building".
We are all happy once again to live in the land of la la.
01 August, 2007
30 July, 2007
The UGLY Monster that lives in our house!
More often than not, most people would categorize my husband as a happy go lucky guy. He is the one that doesn't show strong opinions, doesn't raise his voice and usually gives into the boys. I on the other hand, have strong convictions, use my voice to my liking when needed and enjoy the Italian gesturing, I have learned via my family.
There are a choice few topics, however, that turn my husband into the ugly monster. If money and his parents come up in the same sentence watch out! He starts to cut me off, not listen, preface everything he says with his thoughts and just out and out right not listen to me at all. He raises his voice and starts to say mean little nasty comments about the topic at hand.
I think he reverts to some adolescent boy who still lives with his parents. He acts childish and says things that seem so out of character for him.
Funny when I came home tonight, I was looking forward to chatting with my husband about our lives today and the events that took place. I shared some conversations with freinds and family and usually he enjoys listening to the thoughts discussed. But what just happened was I brought up the topic of his parents and the idea that they might want to give us money for any reason. (There is a huge long involved story about why money is needed and I am not ready to post that out there in cyberspace, but suffice it to say, the conversation started and he just turned ugly). It is as if his being has some sort of internal censor. Once the idea is introduced, he turns on a dime and just gets ugly!
I really have to admit, I hate it, just hate his behaviour. It completely upsets me and brings my blood to a boil. Obviously, I think he needs to mature about the subject, but more importantly he doesn't listen to a damn thing I say. He just tunes me out and starts spouting off at the mouth how his parents will never do this or that and stop pretending they will and this and that and the other. Well if he would have heard me, he would have heard that I wasn't asking for anything and I was relaying a conversation I had with a friend who had some advice on how he should handle himself when this idea of money and his parents come up. That was all.
Would I like it if his parents helped us out financially? It certainly would be nice to have had a down payment for a house like they gave his sister. It certainly would be nice to have had them pitch in over 15 grand for a wedding, that wasn't even as nice as ours. It certainly would be nice to have them handle all of our dirty work that needs to be done when dealing with sales people and such. I mean, wouldn't anyone like to have a helping hand now and again?
But do I expect anything from them? No, I do not. They haven't done for us yet, why would they start now. However, if they did offer us a helping hand at this juncture in our lives, it would be nice to know that my husband would be able to accept it with humility and openness, instead of turning in the ugly monster. You see, at this point in our lives, we are in a very difficult financial picture. Some of the commitments made by others, in our lives, did not come through and it has left us holding the bag. We are extremely stressed out about our steps and have no real idea when our situation will change.
At a time like this, my husband and I should be able to comfort each other and try to prepare ourselves for any possibility. All I know is the ugly monster needs to leave our house immediately!
There are a choice few topics, however, that turn my husband into the ugly monster. If money and his parents come up in the same sentence watch out! He starts to cut me off, not listen, preface everything he says with his thoughts and just out and out right not listen to me at all. He raises his voice and starts to say mean little nasty comments about the topic at hand.
I think he reverts to some adolescent boy who still lives with his parents. He acts childish and says things that seem so out of character for him.
Funny when I came home tonight, I was looking forward to chatting with my husband about our lives today and the events that took place. I shared some conversations with freinds and family and usually he enjoys listening to the thoughts discussed. But what just happened was I brought up the topic of his parents and the idea that they might want to give us money for any reason. (There is a huge long involved story about why money is needed and I am not ready to post that out there in cyberspace, but suffice it to say, the conversation started and he just turned ugly). It is as if his being has some sort of internal censor. Once the idea is introduced, he turns on a dime and just gets ugly!
I really have to admit, I hate it, just hate his behaviour. It completely upsets me and brings my blood to a boil. Obviously, I think he needs to mature about the subject, but more importantly he doesn't listen to a damn thing I say. He just tunes me out and starts spouting off at the mouth how his parents will never do this or that and stop pretending they will and this and that and the other. Well if he would have heard me, he would have heard that I wasn't asking for anything and I was relaying a conversation I had with a friend who had some advice on how he should handle himself when this idea of money and his parents come up. That was all.
Would I like it if his parents helped us out financially? It certainly would be nice to have had a down payment for a house like they gave his sister. It certainly would be nice to have had them pitch in over 15 grand for a wedding, that wasn't even as nice as ours. It certainly would be nice to have them handle all of our dirty work that needs to be done when dealing with sales people and such. I mean, wouldn't anyone like to have a helping hand now and again?
But do I expect anything from them? No, I do not. They haven't done for us yet, why would they start now. However, if they did offer us a helping hand at this juncture in our lives, it would be nice to know that my husband would be able to accept it with humility and openness, instead of turning in the ugly monster. You see, at this point in our lives, we are in a very difficult financial picture. Some of the commitments made by others, in our lives, did not come through and it has left us holding the bag. We are extremely stressed out about our steps and have no real idea when our situation will change.
At a time like this, my husband and I should be able to comfort each other and try to prepare ourselves for any possibility. All I know is the ugly monster needs to leave our house immediately!
28 July, 2007
Monkey Bars
When is the last time you did the monkey bars at a park? For me it has been a long while. Today after taking the boys to see Ratatouille, we ended up at a family park. As the park was immense I decided to follow my little guy V. I then realized that I was working up a small sweat and decided it was really fun going up and down and trying out all of the obstacles.
V was enjoying the fact that he and I were buddies in the park. It warms my heart when I hear his little voice say "Mommy, where are you?" L, my oldest child was having fun with Daddy. Daddy of course had to prove his ability to do chin ups.
As we were about to leave I did the monkey bars. It didn't come as easily as they once did, but the fact remains that I did do them and it was fun. The entire evening was fun.
I needed some fun and a family park with my boys was just the remedy.
V was enjoying the fact that he and I were buddies in the park. It warms my heart when I hear his little voice say "Mommy, where are you?" L, my oldest child was having fun with Daddy. Daddy of course had to prove his ability to do chin ups.
As we were about to leave I did the monkey bars. It didn't come as easily as they once did, but the fact remains that I did do them and it was fun. The entire evening was fun.
I needed some fun and a family park with my boys was just the remedy.
25 July, 2007
This is Rich!
Seriously, here I am contemplating the best way to clear out my debts and my mother calls wanting to know if I am talking right now. What did she mean by that? Well she goes on to say "That it seems to me your are avoiding us right now".
Oh excuse me! I think, not only am in in financial despair right now, but the fact that I am taking care of myself and my children is not enough for you? I also need to feed your ego and justify your existence? I mean come on already. I just spent time on the phone with 3 dear friends, who tried to console me about financial crap and how the society in which we live doesn't support families who are trying to make the right decisions. These dear friends of mine are listening to my complaints of family, financial let downs and they are there for me.
This truly is frustrating to me how I need to be savior to myself and to my parents, siblings etc. Where is my savior, where is my get out of jail free card? Who do I turn to that will help me out? Friends, thank goodness for friends. As Bette sings in her song, "You gotta have friends..... ". I have friends and I am truly grateful. Now where is that sugar daddy? HA!
Whoa is me, I know, who doesn't have financial problems to work through? Who isn't able to live the way they want to due to lack of financial means? I am not the first and I will not be the last. But does the lesson have to be this hard? How many disappointments do I need in order to move forward? How many let downs do I need in order to be humbled?
All I know is that I will find a way out of this, like all the other times I needed to make my own way. I will do what I have to do and I will move forward, this is what a survivor does, she moves on.
Oh excuse me! I think, not only am in in financial despair right now, but the fact that I am taking care of myself and my children is not enough for you? I also need to feed your ego and justify your existence? I mean come on already. I just spent time on the phone with 3 dear friends, who tried to console me about financial crap and how the society in which we live doesn't support families who are trying to make the right decisions. These dear friends of mine are listening to my complaints of family, financial let downs and they are there for me.
This truly is frustrating to me how I need to be savior to myself and to my parents, siblings etc. Where is my savior, where is my get out of jail free card? Who do I turn to that will help me out? Friends, thank goodness for friends. As Bette sings in her song, "You gotta have friends..... ". I have friends and I am truly grateful. Now where is that sugar daddy? HA!
Whoa is me, I know, who doesn't have financial problems to work through? Who isn't able to live the way they want to due to lack of financial means? I am not the first and I will not be the last. But does the lesson have to be this hard? How many disappointments do I need in order to move forward? How many let downs do I need in order to be humbled?
All I know is that I will find a way out of this, like all the other times I needed to make my own way. I will do what I have to do and I will move forward, this is what a survivor does, she moves on.
Financial Dreams down down down the drain...
Right now I am dealing with the financial stress. Truly I am trying to release the financial crap and I was doing so well, but you know what it doesn’t just go away! I don’t have parents to bail me out, I don't have a trust fund, an inheritance stocks that will be cashed out at my expense. I never have and it hurts. I don’t want my children to ever know this feeling. I really hate it, I mean I hate it.
Where is Oprah when you need her Dream truck of wishes come true? I will never forget the woman who wanted all of her debt to be gone. Oprah made it go away! I must be delusional, because I really want someone to take it all away and give me a fresh start. For once I would like to be free of debt. It makes me crazy, to here my in-laws talking about how they were able to save their wedding money and put it to a nest egg. My wedding money paid for my wedding. It makes me crazy to hear them talk about having a down payment from their parents. We had no down payment for our house. We took out credit. It makes me crazy to hear how they amassed equity out of their house, well duh, if you have a down payment you have equity! It makes me crazy to hear you apply that equity after the sale and move up in buying your next house... well duh! If I had a starting nest egg, down payment do you think I would have this problem? I never had that! Never had that life situation to be given an edge, to be given a chance. No my parents taught me about debt, this is all I know and I hate it!!! I was never taught how to save, even though I know how to do it, I never had the opportunity to do it. Everything I do is on credit! I hate that! I hate it. I am struggling here and I hate it. My husband is freaking out because he never lived like this before. I have brought him down. I am a liability. What a loser I am. Oh bother, where is Oprah when you need her?
Me again, just venting,
Where is Oprah when you need her Dream truck of wishes come true? I will never forget the woman who wanted all of her debt to be gone. Oprah made it go away! I must be delusional, because I really want someone to take it all away and give me a fresh start. For once I would like to be free of debt. It makes me crazy, to here my in-laws talking about how they were able to save their wedding money and put it to a nest egg. My wedding money paid for my wedding. It makes me crazy to hear them talk about having a down payment from their parents. We had no down payment for our house. We took out credit. It makes me crazy to hear how they amassed equity out of their house, well duh, if you have a down payment you have equity! It makes me crazy to hear you apply that equity after the sale and move up in buying your next house... well duh! If I had a starting nest egg, down payment do you think I would have this problem? I never had that! Never had that life situation to be given an edge, to be given a chance. No my parents taught me about debt, this is all I know and I hate it!!! I was never taught how to save, even though I know how to do it, I never had the opportunity to do it. Everything I do is on credit! I hate that! I hate it. I am struggling here and I hate it. My husband is freaking out because he never lived like this before. I have brought him down. I am a liability. What a loser I am. Oh bother, where is Oprah when you need her?
Me again, just venting,
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