29 October, 2009


We are preparing for Halloween, Holy Eve, or Samhain.  This is a fun, festive time for our household, as we put out the fall decorations and prepare for the night of tricks and treats. 

Each year we hold an Ancestor Meal to honor those who have passed.  We create a fall meal filled with monsterous delight and say special prayers to our ancestors. 

This year we will celebrate with another family.  This is a first for us, as we have never celebrated with another family on this holiday.  The boys are looking forward to the evening, as I am.  What a treat to share a celebration of meaning and ceremony with like minded people. 

Truly this is the best way to start a new year, as many Wiccans refer to this special holiday. 

Our menu consists of Monster Meatloaf, Maggot Pumpkin Risotto, Shrunken Heads -Brussel Sprouts, Dead Man Finger Asparagus, Day of the Dead Cross Bone Bread, and bowls of tomato bloodshot eyes, Black Eye Ball Olives, Crooked Carrot Fingers and much more! 

The costume for the boys will be the Grim Reaper and a Prince.  I still haven't decided if I will dress up, but most likely I will wear the Horned God Mask as we honor him on this evening along with our Goddess Crone. 

I find this holiday a perfect blend of Old Wiccan Meets Christian Meaning.  It is important to me that the boys share and celebrate in a variety of belief systems, as it adds to their overall understanding of their world.  Why not celebrate the earth and her glory, along with the Saints and Souls?  As long as we learn to respect and celebration in healthy ritual, then all is well in my world.  Happy Halloween to all! 

22 October, 2009

Acceptance for the Journey

What is acceptance?  After many years of trying to define who and what I am...it appears that I am now in a different space than my family.  Raised in a very close family, including extended family members, the prevailing family value is that you always stick together.  Family is strong and is always there for you, in your business, helping you, when you need it and when you don't want it.  These bonds were tight and seemingly unbreakable. 

I admit to loving this aspect, but find it not so comfortable when family members hold beliefs that are not similar to mine.  If you follow my blog, you will know that I have also broken off these family ties in several ways. 

I no longer share a relationship with my father's family.  As they were the perpetrators of my youth, who abused me, mentally, sexually, and religously, I have found I am healthier to be apart from their physical space.

When I became a mother, I started to examine more family members and found I needed distance from my mother's side.  Not all, but there are more than a few that I would rather not share space with.  Their views, morals, decisions are not in line with mine and I find it hard to keep my mouth shut when challenged with somethign I deem inappropriate. 

People are people and we all follow different paths, no matter the upbringing.  Some of the most unlikey groupings can produce fruitful outcomes!  Just look at mystikman and me!  We really share nothing in common, but have found love in each other that is strong and gentle.

So who is to say where we belong when those we never knew can bring us much joy and comfort?

When we look back at our family members, are we to forever embrace them in our lives?  Or are we to accept them, as they are, for what they are and leave them be to live their lives on their terms?  This is the path I am currently taking, but make no mistake if their path and my path are not the same, then we go our seperate ways as this is the only way to have each person make their own journey.  Is it written that we need to be on the same journey?  I think not.  I am not willing to stop my journey and change direction for anyone.  I love my life and am blessed to be where I am with mystikman, L and V.  I welcome anyone who is on the same journey in our lives, but those who are not, need to go their own way.

Now the part of letting the judgments fall away is upon me....

11 October, 2009

Children of Substance

"I believe fate smiled at destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle

'Know this child will be able'
Laughed as she came to my mother

'Know this child will not suffer'
Laughed as my body she lifted

'Know this child will be gifted'
With love with patience, and with faith
She'll make her way"

- Natalie Merchant

Yes I have always liked this part of the song. It fills me with hope, love, joy and truth. Love, Patience and Faith...yes we have love, I have faith and we all work on patience.

The past 2 days have been more successful in terms of parenting and grace. Our home has undergone a transformation of sorts and the children seem to have benefited from an enhanced flow. Now we only need to translate this to our homestudies...one can hope!

09 October, 2009

Homeschool Challenges

Trying to do the best for our children is an uphill journey. In an effort to provide a loving, nurturing atmosphere to engage my boys in the joy of learning...I have seem to found despair, frustration, anger and exhaustion.

This past month, motivating the boys and myself to find that happy learning environment has not happened. Instead, I have been yelling, growling and breaking wooden spoons on the counter. I am not proud of these moments, but I am frustrated because I want the very best for my boys and they don't seem to appreciate all the sacrificing we have done for them.

Not all is lost as we have had about one week of good schooling efforts. But one week out of 5-6? I know all homeschoolers go through this and I also know that this is still better for my boys, then public schooling, but I wish it wasn't this hard.

I know I need to change. I am working on it. Right now I am organizing our space, our schedule and pairing it down to the simplest of things.

I pray it all works, because my throat can't take any more growling!

04 October, 2009

Changing things Up a Bit

After some spiritual urges, I have decided to dedicate this blog more to "momma" topics. This will be a site to share with family, friends and general public. As we live far from family, there needs to be a place where we can share our growth and decrease the distance that lies between.

Isn't this true for those of us who comment on each others blog when we are miles apart?

Even though I may live Southern Florida, I do still enjoy the comforts of reading blogs up north. I share your backyards full of autumn colors, winter scenes and spring's bounty. We all are only a click away and we have found a way to "time" travel into each others' spaces.

Welcome the new design!