30 June, 2009

Gifts of Foregivenss

Growing up, Sunday's meant getting ready for church and attending mass as a family. Now that I am in my own family, raising 2 boys, I seem to struggle with the idea of family church going. For me, connecting to the Catholic Church is difficult. I long for something that is more encompassing than a male based God defined by men in a position of power and isolation from the Vatican. There just seems to be more of Jesus' story than the 4 gospels that were chosen for us in 313 AD. The "other" books might actually provide a fuller picture of Jesus’ life and legacy.

However, on these Sunday’s meant for rest and repose, I do listen to Christian Music that stirs my soul. The melodies find their way into our home and hearts quite easily. I also belong to a spiritual group called the The Magdalene Line; a group dedicated to the Diving Feminine as well as the Divine Masculine. Daily, I participate in a spiritual dialogue and actively contribute. My life is driven by the spirit within, daily. Daily Practice seems to be the true test of our spirituality, not the Sunday Ritual. But if you receive something out of the Sunday ritual, then great; I have not been able to hear anything there for some time.

This site struck a cord within. As I read through the story, my childhood abuse memories came to the surface quickly. Forgiveness is one of those concepts that seem to have many interpretations. Once I read this story, I wonder, "Was I given a gift to learn forgiveness? This must have been a great need of mine, as the gift was given at the age of 2. Not only was the gift given by my father’s sisters, but it was given to me by his mother in a completely different manner. There were little gifts too; I guess I really needed to learn this as a little soul.

Something unlocked inside that I have struggled with for 34 years! This is the spirit working among us and it is powerful!

This is what the Sunday Ritual should be. Even though I didn't attend mass this past Sunday, I am grateful to my routine as I have found something no priest was ever able to give me. Sometimes we need to hear a message a million different ways, in a million different languages before it clicks. Today and this morning it clicked.

What gifts did you ask for from God?

All shall be well, all will be well… Julian of Norwich.

28 June, 2009

Consumers have many ways to spend their dollars. It seems the more money you have the more you can afford or the "higher quality", name brand items are within reach. If your spending dollars are less, the assumption is you will trend to be a bargain shopper, frequenting stores offering more for less and possibly purchase "inferior" products.

But the challenge I put out today is not that more money equals better product due to name or quality, or that less money equals cheap construction and poor quality. Rather, why don't we look at the integrity of the product; is it sustainable, ecological and natural? Will your purchase be of your choosing or will your wallet size determine the bracket for your spending?

If I had millions in the bank, the choices for my spending would remain consistent to my choices today. There are two changes I would make however. Organic clothing would be a priority instead of a luxury and we would finally be able to upgrade our vehicle to a Hybrid or at least something with a 40+ MPG. Beyond these changes, I wouldn't let a larger wallet fill my head with dreams of grandeur in terms of what society determines is "luxury".

This is where most of us get it wrong. It isn't about the higher priced item, it is about the form and function of the item and whether or not it adds value to life in general. I don't think a higher price tag is a blanket statement for the product's true value. Think about all the high priced cosmetics found at Nordstroms, Neiman Marcus or Bloomingdales that are loaded with chemicals and questionable "paraben". Walk into any boutique clothier and see of they are using sustainable bamboo or organic fibers. Read the labels for the name brand food items. Do you see the Organic Label on the package? Do these products add to your health or do they benefit Mother Earth? Due to their higher price tag there is a perceived notion it is better, (the goal of advertisers). For me the answer is no. I try to always choose products based on their integrity instead of their price tag.

How refreshing to see Celebrities choose green living, instead of excessive living. It is about content and integrity, not about excess and wallet size. Maybe if we started to root out the truth behind our product choices we would affect truth in advertising and pricing. The consumer could buy based on true need and not perceived status. Mother Earth would start to heal, instead of fracture and then our financial status would not mean as much as the integrity of our soul. Our nature would be more important than our financial status.

If amassing wealth is the defining quality of a person's worth... look at Bernie Madoff. Is he really a person of integrity? Is he our role model for success? Is he the person we aspire to become? Think about this as you slave away at your jobs to earn a good salary to afford the house, the cars, the take out, the high priced designer labels, the fancy $3.50 cup of coffee, the latest high tech gadget and the over the top party to outdo all parties. What does all this spending really say about you? Thoughtful, wise, creative, or ______; well you can fill in the blank.

What are you working so hard to prove? What does the big paycheck really offer you, freedom, choice, integrity? Taking the steps to living in harmony with our Creators is a tough one. There are many who are making the choice and waking up to their true purpose. They work hard to balance out financial responsibilities with gainful, rewarding employment. They take extra thought for purchases and choices with their wallet. They are thoughtful and inspiring. One such story is found here. This is human challenge for all who inhabit Mother Earth. What footprint are you leaving behind on Gaea? Does she regard you with kindness or resentment?

This post is not to say I am perfect, but that I struggle with my choices everyday and it would be refreshing to see value placed on true value and not perceived value. If the size of the wallet didn't matter, could we connect more as humans and learn about our humanity?

26 June, 2009


"It is our choices...that show what we
truly are, far more than our abilities
- J. K. Rowling

This quote sums up my thoughts on most things...

25 June, 2009

Musical Musings on Michael Jackson

Music was enhanced by Michael Jackson's talent. He was able to transcend the stage and go places we never knew existed. When I turned 10, I opened one of my presents and received a tape of Thriller! It was one of my first pieces of music.

That tape played over and over and over again. It was great and the music that I liked, not my parents or aunts. I was a fan!

When Michael became Jacko, my affections started to wane. I still listened to the music, but his off stage lifestyle, antics, allegations got in the way of fully appreciating him the way I did when I was 10. It was hard to piece together the musical genius/showman to the troubled man who never seemed to grow up struggling with his identity and actions.

Today, I watch the news and think, wow, what a talent, what a shame, what a loss for the music industry. It is shocking, why? Because you just think of these icons to be larger than life and in reality they are no more above the laws of the universe than you or me.

Life is a gift we are given in this reality to explore, create, experience. We should all do what we can to enjoy the life we are given as it is our most precious gift.

May you now find the peace you so desperately longed for Michael...

21 June, 2009

Happy Father's Day!

Mystikman has a great life! He loves his work, is the daddy of 2 amazing little men and is loved by mystikmomma like crazy!

Happy Father's Day Mystikman!

20 June, 2009

Claiming Happiness

A late night phone call this past week, brought about an interesting realization. When asked how my life was going, I pondered what to say. For the most part, my life is really good, solid, happy and fulfilling. But there was something nagging at me and when I really put my mind to it, I found the nagging culprit - misunderstandings in my friendships.

Every day, mystikman and I say to one another how lucky we are. We are blessed, we are happy and our life is good. This is the message I wanted to convey on the phone call, but it was mired in these friends issues I have been having.

This afternoon, I was watching Rick Steve's Milan on PBS. We watch PBS often and anything Italian sucks me in. I was sitting and saw how happy I was inside and decided that these friend issues are not worth dampening my mood. I let these hurt feelings and confused thoughts seep into my happiness and that needs to stop.

Today I say, I am happy, lucky, blessed and love my life. I smile, am content and know "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be
well". Jullian of Norwich

There is no need to let anything dampen my mood. Okay Jacques Pepin is on PBS... ahh the French Countryside Dining experience... Does it get any better? Gotta run!

18 June, 2009

Choosing Freedom!

Recently a friend had a life event happen. Due to this change in circumstance, a new road awaits. Now the future that seemed clearly plotted is wide open. Many would look upon this change as a difficulty, hurdle or be very depressed at the initial happening. However, if taken at face value it is only a change and due to this change, the direction of the life path can be altered more freely.

Sometimes it is hard to make changes when we are in the trenches of momentum. But when the momentum is cut short, if forces us to rethink our goals, dreams and directions.

I am amazed at how my friend has taken this change and turned it into a chance at life. The choices are now many instead of few. There are more possibilities and the freedom to choose is liberating!

As a child, I played one thing and then changed my mind to play something else. I was not locked in to one set play path. The freedom to be who and what I wanted was wonderful! I love watching this unfold for my friend. There is limitless freedom with each step!

16 June, 2009

Crossed Communications!

Friendships have been a focus for me this past month. In recent days, there have been some admittances about misunderstandings and crossed communication. As I am relieved to know there is still interest in the friendship, I am confused as to how to overcome the "miss", that exists.

I find that trying to explain your position and thought process is defensive. This of course is not the point, but who likes to be misunderstood? Also I struggle with how to share my life, without it being taken as judgmental?

How do you explain yourself so it is taken as is? Is this really my issue or the receivers? I don't know, but I try and try to be open, honest, ask for clarity when I need it, but there are these crossed wires somehow in the way.

Ever notice how some people you just get; never a strong or curt word between you? Then there are others that you struggle with, have highs and lows with? I do understand we are unique and different. I get that we come with varied instructions which lean us one way or the other. We also learn new ways based on our life experiences. I just don't think it should be this difficult between friends, that is what our family is for (HA)!

Why all the explaining, misunderstanding... this is my challenge and I am not certain where to go with it, just yet.

11 June, 2009

Swimming Summer

The Venetian Pool is where we are spending our summer. Every morning this week, the boys and I have been out the door by 7:30 and in the pool by 8:30am. Considering we are a homeschool family that wakes upon our internal alarm clocks, this is a huge feat!

The boys are doing well, each in their own class twice daily. They have a break in between classes where they hang out with other children and explore, chat, play games and all things involving childhood memory making!

I teach alongside another new trainee, which is of course unheard of, as each new trainee is to teach alongside a seasoned Water Safety Instructor, WSI. So here we are two newbies doing our best to teach 3 classes of 5-9 students, 7-13 yr olds. The basics, kicking, gliding, rhythmic breathing, floating, front crawl, etc. I have to say I am really enjoying it and love the other teacher. She is organized and focused, just like me and it is great, as if we are on the same brain wave!

The water is a cool 79 degrees, everyday filled in each morning from the Artesian Aquifer . The greatest thing for me, is that it reminds me of a lake. There are a couple of small lakes that I swam in growing up. I love swimming in a lakes because the water doesn't sting your eyes, or irritate freshly shaven legs. Maybe it is my comfort zone or what I was used to, but lakes where plentiful growing up and I do prefer them to oceans.

This pool is quite amazing. The Venetian Pool has been used in movies and used to be a hang out for movie stars back in the day.

More importantly, at the end of our morning, the boys and I are allowed a free swim before the public is allowed entrance. At this time, each of the boys demonstrate their newly acquired skills and just in a few days, they have improved greatly! I have a feeling, that L will be in my class sooner than later! How cool is that?

07 June, 2009

Following the Beat of my own Drummer!

In an email sent last week, I noticed something sort of funny in my closing remarks. The point of the email was to reiterate to an old friend, that I have always been my own woman and followed the beat of my own drummer. Then I had a laugh at what I just typed as mystikman is a drummer! How hilarious I thought. I went out and not only used the colloquial phrase, but I did it, I found my own drummer!

It seems we may have very well made another drummer in the process! V is an avid drummer, beating on all things solid making noise. He has been infatuated with drum sticks and right this moment, I caught a glimpse of him drumming on the chair.

05 June, 2009

Earth Mother Goddess Day!

Today is Earth Mother Goddess Day! Let's celebrate Mother Earth and all she provides, day and night. She is the Cosmic Mother that nurtures us.

04 June, 2009

South Florida Fishing Fun

This is my fisherman! Never in a million years would I peg my first born to be a lover of this activity. L, is full of action, has a hard time focusing as he is so interested in his surroundings. Never sits still kind of guy...

But give him a fishing pole, some bait and plunk him alongside a water hole and he is content! I mean content for hours! It is amazing!

Yep, just happy to be fishing.....

02 June, 2009

MystikMan, I love you!

Today nine years ago, I walked down the aisle towards a man who was crying, holding his tissues in his hands with dimples on either side of his face. I was a bit stunned at his obvious display of emotion, but he was also smiling, hence the dimples. He grabbed my hands and wanted to kiss me and I had to tell him, "Not yet!".

I didn't have tears that evening, truth be told, I cried that morning at my grandfather's grave alongside my mom and sister. Maybe it was the thought of my Grandpa not being able to share in this moment with me, or maybe the nerves of the morning and pending nuptials, but the tears flowed. Grandpa would have loved the wedding and he would have had so much fun. Yeah, it would have been nice to have him there. But my tears were done and all I had inside of my heart was confidence. I knew I was marrying a man worthy of myself in all aspects.

We stood before all our relatives and friends pledging our love, confessing our promises and sharing in ceremony, one created by us. It was a wonderful night. We danced throughout the evening, ate a royal meal and just laughed with each other. I was blissfully happy, smiling ear to ear the entire evening. I was a bride on cloud nine, secure, loved, matched.

Our love has been tested over the 9 years, but today, I say with every fiber in my being, I made the best decision ever when I said "YES"! Mystikman has proved his love for me many times over and still amazes me from time to time. He is sexier than ever, at least to me, and I love him beyond words.

Last night, I just wanted to curl up inside his embrace and breath him in, not letting go. I am lucky, blessed, tickled pink that we found each other!

Happy Anniversary lovely!