28 December, 2009

Quick Note

So, here it is, holiday preparations, gifting, meal making, magic, unwrapping is all over and I have nothing posted to share! 

I have pictures to load, just haven't gotten around to it yet.  Suffice to say, all of our holiday plans were very nice, managable and memorable.  The meals were yummy, enjoyed by all, the cookies were just enough to push the specialness over the top, the presents were appreciated, wanted and enjoyed, the family time was plentiful and the laughter abundant.  I should also add here the tears of joy were flowing from me.

I became a sobbing mess as I watched my 3 boys playing trains on the floor together.  It was a scene I didn't want to end. But I know all things do change and that moment would pass.  There are many more joys ahead of me and I pray every night they are joys and not disappointments.  There are enough of those around if you go looking. 

It is pleasning to still hear the Christmas Music on the radio and music on demand.  I am enjoying each song, each wintry holiday scene. 

Until I can get it together, the photos will have to wait! 

19 December, 2009

Winter Traditions

Tomorrow kicks off our Christmas Eve celebration with Christmas Day to follow on Monday.  Due to mystikman's job, we try to find when he has a 2 day break to celebrate our tradition.  At least this way the children are able to have a full holiday, even if it isn't on the actual day or days. 

This year I am taking the Italian Christmas Feast to the in-laws.  Imagine a full blown Feast of the 7 Fishes, Catholic Celebration in a home full of Jews!  I love it and find comfort in the way each of us embrace each others traditions. The fun doesn't stop there.  Monday the entire gang will come to our home for the Christmas Ravioli meal. 

Now here is the wonderful twist... Christmas Eve, the real one... we will be at the in-laws again, celebrating.... Hanukkah of all things!  Latkes and Brisket with Jelly Donuts!  Mystikman will be at work, but the boys and I will enjoy the Jewish Miracle of Lights.  Christmas Day will be with Turkey and the trimmings.  I will be making my Pumpkin Cheesecake, as I haven't made it all year and really want to have that flavor at least once a year in my mouth!

So a nice little twist on two different religious celebrations.  This is how we do it in this family and I am blessed to have the full support of both sides.  Growing up, I knew my father's family was different from my mother's.  It was hard as the one didn't appreciate the other.  For me, it was imperative the children know both of their cultural heritages and appreciate them equally.  So far we have done fairly well and I am proud of the traditions we have created and upheld 

May each of you be blessed with tradition, magik and love.  Merry Merry, Happy Happy and Blessings to all, for the light is coming! 

12 December, 2009

Getting in Gear!

The past month or so, I have been going through some major changes in terms of energy and expectations.  Maybe even outlooks and goals could be added to what has been progressing. 

Since the "flood", internal changes have come about and I was reminded to stay true to my inner heart's desire.  I know what is good for me and I know what goes against my grain, so to speak. 

Things that have been under construction of late are living conditions, relationships, schooling, parenting, and physical maintenance.  I realize that today, I am unable to change the location of where we live, but I also recognize that this living arrangement is temporary and I shouldn' become complacent.  A while back I found myself thinking this could work.  We could just set up shop here in South Florida and be done with it.  But this isn't where we are supposed to be long term.  For now, it works and we are blessed in so many ways to have made this move.  But this isn't the final stop for us.  There will be many other stops along the way and we as a family need to be open to that.

Relationships have been building, reshaping and in question.  This I think is true for us all at certain times in our lives.  I personally, have been challenged with certain people and in the end, the lesson was for me to learn.  It isn't the other person's actions that I am happy or unhappy with, it is with my action that I need to examine.  Afterall, I am the one that engages back and is ultimately responsible for my actions.  I learned that I need to just be true to myself.  No matter what the degree of the relationship, long term, short, family or friend.  A good many lessons were learned and I appreciate the growth from each of these opportunities.

Schooling has been challenging as well.  L and I have been at each other's throats and it is so defeating to feel this helpless.  I want to give him the best I am able.  I know what my options are around me and homeschooling is the best, if I am at my best.  Truth is, I have not been at my best and again, it isn't about L, it really is about me.  I have to rethink what school or the goal of schooling is.  I need to rethink my role as educator.  I need to rethink what homeschool can be for my family.  I am grateful to some dear friends for sharing their experiences and letting me know I am not alone in this struggle.  There are times where we question, doubt and feel helpless to provide our child's need.  But the one thing I have above all else, is that I am L's mom.  I do know him better than anyone.  (Gosh that brings tears to my eyes...)  Yes I know him.  He is a wonderfully bright child with so much love and light in his heart.  I need to allow his inner sense to shine through and become what he was meant to become.  He choose me to be his mother for a reason and in accepting this gift is what I need to remind me of. 

Parenting goes hand in hand with the above topic.  In light of being the educator, I am the parent.  Learning where to draw those lines or blend those lines is my current challenge.  I am grateful again to inspiration I find around me.  SoulMama is a wonderful place that inspires me daily.  I enjoy reading from her and other great women spirits that find their rhythems at home with their children.

Physical maintence... yes exercise, feeling fit and loving my body.  Body image was soemthign I was aware of, but didn't really focus on because for the most part I didn't have to.  I still don't in many ways need to feel out of place for how I look.  But I know I can do better to honor this gift of human form.  I know what to do and how to do it, I just need to start.  I have started here and there, but also I have taken another approach to acceptance.  I do love who I am and what I am.  This is critical to the physical nature in each of us. 

Life is in progress and I am getting in gear, because I feel the new cycle coming soon.  Internally, my body yearns for 2010 in a strange way.  I feel greatness around the corner and there are preparations in need of making.  Not all life is about being present, even though we need to acknowledge the moment.  But we are in our journeys, and making plans along the way are also important.  So preparations are being made for 2010.  As well as reflections on 2009.

Blessings BE!

06 December, 2009

Saint Nicholas Day

Today is the day my grandfather was born many years ago. He was named after St. Nicholas as that was his middle name. Kind of neat for our family to share a special bond with Santa Claus.

Saint Nicholas has paid a visit to our home now for some time. Each year we put out our shoes or boots and hope for something sweet, just a little treat as he passes by.

This year the boys had a very hard time sleeping. They were awake well past 10 pm. Mystikman and I discussed what it would mean if St. Nicholas didn't give them anything, but a letter instead.

This is just what he did! Each boy received a letter reminding them to make good decisions. He also went on to say he has been watching them all year and has been disappointed in their actions, such as not listening, not being kind, not being honest and not picking up after themselves. If they didn't straighten up, Santa Claus would not make a stop on Christmas Eve.

Each boy took it hard. L said in defiance... "I don't want anything anyway". This is his problem in a nut shell. Instead of making the right choice, he chooses to take the hard way, hurting himself in the process. Boy does this bother me to my core, because I know this attitude will be very difficult long term. I try so hard to get this attitude adjusted, because I don't want L to suffer as an adult. But try as I might, it is just his nature and it really, really bothers me.

V was upset and very unhappy. He said he wanted to rip up the letter. Then asked if I was bad as a child. This also true to his nature, he would rather ignore it and get rid of it, then deal with it. Then he wants to know what other people did so he can measure it out to see where he falls, not that he will change his behavior, but he likes to know where everyone stands.

Each of my boys are capable of making great decisions, showing much love, care, concern and gratitude. They are very kind in their hearts and creative when they want to be. I know they are young and have many more years to comprehend what the lessons are, but truly I pray each day to Saint Nicholas that he guide their paths so they may grow into Fine Gentlemen with long, healthy, happy lives.

So please Saint Nicholas, help my boys learn their lesson early on in life, so they may enjoy what is possible when their hearts, heads and souls are aligned!