31 December, 2010

The Last Day of the Year!

Today, I am feeling a bit strange, out of body maybe or just foggy...suffering from sinus congestion.  .Trying to remember where this year started and how far we have come or at least the distance traveled and all those accomplishments along the way. 

Last year we were on the beach with really great family friends.  We embraced the Blue Moon Goddess and danced on the sand in her healing light.   It was magical!

Today I am processing a meeting held yesterday that left me feeling a little lost and unwanted.  Due to the move, we had to find another homeschooling group to join and adjusting to their personalities has been a challenge for me.  Even the boys have had some challenges and terribly miss their FL pals. 

It seem the people here are very much settled into their thinking and have no space for new ideas or new energies.  You can imagine how let down I feel, as I left this super dynamic support group of growth, support, energy, learning and light for are very closed, shy, let's not reach to high group.  They all want more, and I actually have some ideas to help them, but they really weren't interested and didn't comment on any of what I offered.  I am left missing and rethinking this entire move.  What have we gained?  Appreciation and Gratitude for the lovely people in Florida for sure.  But right now it feels like we lost more than we gained. 

So for 2011, I am a little happy the year is over, as it was a tough one full of many disappointments and struggles.  Changes and challenges abound and we are now left to look at a new year with new hopes and dreams. 

Will we stay in this group, I don't know.  I really need to ground myself into what our family is about and make every effort to do what I can to let go of resentment and feelings that bring me down.  I want to embrace and maybe that will come back to me. 

Tomorrow we will do our annual vision board as a family.  We will dream and aspire to abundance and allow the power of attraction to do its thing.  There is a reason why we are here and I will do my best to let it happen and learn from this too.

Welcome 2011, I am ready for you! 

11 December, 2010

Holiday Preparations

This year we got started a little later than usual.  Typically, I like to get things rolling the weekend after Thanksgiving so we can enjoy the decor longer.

Christmas Cookie list made - complete baking next week.
Tree Up, lights on, most ornaments - finish today.
Holiday Village - finish today.
Nutcrackers, stockings check!
Shopping almost complete - finish later in the week.
Wrapping gifts - finish later in the week.
Homemade items - still working...hoping to finish by the end of the week.
Denmark box - mail out next week.
Holiday Cards - going green this year and will send an email this week.
Clean house - ongoing!
Holiday meats ordered - pick up the 17th.
Christmas Recital - tomorrow.
Santa visit - tomorrow.

Lots to do next week, YIKES!  But will finish those items when they are finished! 

Happy Holidays to all!

10 December, 2010

Sore Throat

Well I have a sore throat and it isn't from a post nasal drip.  It is from yelling at my children, growling when I am really mad.  If you are a long time reader of this blog, you know I have oscillated back and forth with spanking.  In a long time attempt to not revert to old fashioned parenting that lacks imagination and thought, I have been left with yelling.  I HATE it!  Truly, I hate it everytime my temper gets out of control and I start screaming. 

The fast remains, I am not heard in this house and the boys have other things on their minds.  It will take them hours to do a task that should only take 5 minutes at best.  Is this a factor of boys or children in general? 

I sit and calmly explain, but that seems to go nowhere as my sore throat can attest.  I had visions of happily decorating our house today and making cookies.  It is not almost 4 pm and none of those things have happened yet, because they haven't done their parts... simple ones too, make bed, clean up the bedroom - which wasn't that dirty to begin with just some picking up really. 

I feel exhausted and upset and just plain worn out from their incessant playing and messing around.  How do I explain to them, that if you take 5 good minutes to do your task, then you can play and do what you want? 

04 December, 2010

December Already?

Last time I was here, it was the end of Sept. and now it is the beginning of Dec!  In the past 2 months, we have moved out of our "Hometel", the Renaissance and into our new house, the ranchola.  I refer to this is the ranchola, as it sounds kinda funny. 

We painted almost every surface of this house to add our design sense, refinished floors, started a kitchen remodel, still in progress, updated the main bath, still in need of some finishing touches, bought necessary furniture, bought a mega furnace, unpacked... well almost all of our belongings... celebrated Halloween, Thanksgiving and Hanukkah and will prepare for Christmas next week. 

We have been living, loving and learning here as well trying to set up a rhythm for our daily life.  Some sewing started this week and knitting has been constant.  Piano fills the rooms with sound from both boys and food comes out of our in process kitchen that smells divine.  We have even got the pot belly stove working a couple of times to warm our toes.

There is a LONG list of things still waiting our capable hands, but all in time as we carve out our lives here.  It has taken a while to warm up to this house and this house is finally starting to respond.  I understand there is a soul in this house and finally we have connected.  It has taken a while, but I feel the warm fuzzies now.

Boys seem to be very happy and that of course is reward enough.  May this house provide for us a shelter that is solid, strong and filled with memories to last many lifetimes.

Finally we are home.