30 March, 2008

Urges from a friend

A friend of mine has been sharing a dialogue with me that warrants posting... her suggestion. She asked me a question about my choices that led me to my current position. This week, I have been processing the events that led my hubbie to another state for employment and reasons why we are not able to join him as a family.

Specifically she wanted to know how I will reflect on my time spent in Ohio, as it is my home state. I returned here in 2003 after 9 years of living all over it seems. Going home and all, it is worth a post. So here goes:

"As for how I think of Ohio… I think that it isn’t about Ohio, but about going home. Going home is not something a person can really do, after they have stretched themselves like I have. Going home will never be the same and the old towers of dependability are now weakened and faulty. I went home with colored glasses on seeing a place I left good and bad. I took off the glasses finally and realized this is just a place like any other and the ties that bind are not as tight. I have created my own life now and that is what I need to be true to. I have my own purpose and my own path. The only way to make being home work is to let go of some new pieces of me. I am not willing to do that. I like me and I like where I want to go. Assuming where I want to go is what is “the movie in my head”. I realize to create the movie in my head, I have to do it on my own. I can not rely on my family to replicate what I had. Life, the world, families, people, culture, economy have all made this impossible. IT isn’t just for me, but for many who have to realize this unfortunate or fortunate turn of events in the world we live."

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