25 July, 2007

Financial Dreams down down down the drain...

Right now I am dealing with the financial stress. Truly I am trying to release the financial crap and I was doing so well, but you know what it doesn’t just go away! I don’t have parents to bail me out, I don't have a trust fund, an inheritance stocks that will be cashed out at my expense. I never have and it hurts. I don’t want my children to ever know this feeling. I really hate it, I mean I hate it.

Where is Oprah when you need her Dream truck of wishes come true? I will never forget the woman who wanted all of her debt to be gone. Oprah made it go away! I must be delusional, because I really want someone to take it all away and give me a fresh start. For once I would like to be free of debt. It makes me crazy, to here my in-laws talking about how they were able to save their wedding money and put it to a nest egg. My wedding money paid for my wedding. It makes me crazy to hear them talk about having a down payment from their parents. We had no down payment for our house. We took out credit. It makes me crazy to hear how they amassed equity out of their house, well duh, if you have a down payment you have equity! It makes me crazy to hear you apply that equity after the sale and move up in buying your next house... well duh! If I had a starting nest egg, down payment do you think I would have this problem? I never had that! Never had that life situation to be given an edge, to be given a chance. No my parents taught me about debt, this is all I know and I hate it!!! I was never taught how to save, even though I know how to do it, I never had the opportunity to do it. Everything I do is on credit! I hate that! I hate it. I am struggling here and I hate it. My husband is freaking out because he never lived like this before. I have brought him down. I am a liability. What a loser I am. Oh bother, where is Oprah when you need her?

Me again, just venting,

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