25 July, 2007

This is Rich!

Seriously, here I am contemplating the best way to clear out my debts and my mother calls wanting to know if I am talking right now. What did she mean by that? Well she goes on to say "That it seems to me your are avoiding us right now".

Oh excuse me! I think, not only am in in financial despair right now, but the fact that I am taking care of myself and my children is not enough for you? I also need to feed your ego and justify your existence? I mean come on already. I just spent time on the phone with 3 dear friends, who tried to console me about financial crap and how the society in which we live doesn't support families who are trying to make the right decisions. These dear friends of mine are listening to my complaints of family, financial let downs and they are there for me.

This truly is frustrating to me how I need to be savior to myself and to my parents, siblings etc. Where is my savior, where is my get out of jail free card? Who do I turn to that will help me out? Friends, thank goodness for friends. As Bette sings in her song, "You gotta have friends..... ". I have friends and I am truly grateful. Now where is that sugar daddy? HA!

Whoa is me, I know, who doesn't have financial problems to work through? Who isn't able to live the way they want to due to lack of financial means? I am not the first and I will not be the last. But does the lesson have to be this hard? How many disappointments do I need in order to move forward? How many let downs do I need in order to be humbled?

All I know is that I will find a way out of this, like all the other times I needed to make my own way. I will do what I have to do and I will move forward, this is what a survivor does, she moves on.

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