17 November, 2007

Glutton for Punishment?

Tomorrow, we depart for New York City. Actually, we will be in Long Beach, but close enough. We will spend time with friends & family for the Holiday week. Thursday, I have this crazy notion that we will brave the crowds and take the boys to see and be a part of the Macy's Day Parade! I know, "Are we crazy"?

Since I was a child, I have watched this parade, like many people. Now that I have a very close accommodation to Manhattan, I figured this would be a fun thing to do with the boys and make memories. This is after all, what I try to do, Make Memories. I want my boys to look back at their childhood with a warm heart and see that their parents loved them like crazy! I want them to see me as human but a little bit special, in that I gave them my best and they are better for it.

Lately, I have been challenging my own memories of my parents. I see many holes in the past and then some nice things as well. The holes of disappointment or lack of parenting are very big and it hurts to look back and recognize they are there. It also hurts to know that I really don't have a good relationship with my parents. There are so many issues in the way that I have no responsibility for and I need to just move forward.

It drives me to do better and be more for my children. I want to take dysfunction out of my family once and for all. It doesn't have to be crazy or insane or unhealthy. A family can be good, solid, fun and loving. This is my goal.

So, we will go and see what we can see and have memories of our adventure. I love my children like nothing else in this world and I love my husband for indulging the child he sees in me.

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