13 February, 2008

Creating, Reflecting and Loving!

I have been a daily admirer of the Soule Mama Blog. She has inspired me to find my inner creativity and let her out! You see, I secretly believe, that I am very creative and routinely have a thousand ideas a day. These ideas are small to large and complex to simple. I love to create and dream, but rarely put all of those thoughts to action. This has been my challenge this year, to put my head creations to actual creations.

There are a couple of projects that will be posted soon. I have a chair that I have upholstered, some fun magnets that my in laws will love, 2 scarves - one will be felted and a lap blanket.

I also have long term projects underway, a book about my life, yeah I know everyone has a story, but I truly do think my story may help many people get out from under the family incest, trained behaviours and get on with healing from the inside out. I also want to write a childrens book series, but that is not high on the priority list now.

Organizing is another project that I have started. Cutting up articles, recipes, resources etc from magazine and compiling them into a resource book of my own creation. Something I started to do, but have yet to complete. Did I ever tell you that I am certified in Reiki? I have been blessed by a wonderful person, to give treatments to people. You see I am just swimming with ideas, things to do, ways to organize myself etc.

I also am going to take on a blog project, the 30 days of pictures, or moments in time. Again, inspired by Soule Mama I want to capture my own life so I may better see how wonderful it is. I truly do know deep inside that I am blessed, even though there are situations that surround me not so pleasing. But when I take stock of what I have and who is around me, I know that I am lucky. There could have been a plethora of outcomes for a girl who suffered sexual abuse by her father's 5 4 sisters!!!! Then undergone routine religion bashing by her evil Grandmother. Just when it couldn't get worse, according to my dear grandmother, I was the lucky one, because God could have killed me just like he killed my sister! I was four mind you and my sister was 5 months who suffered from myoclonic seizures. But my Grandmother was convinced it was due to the religion difference between my parents, unequally yoked... that is what she would tell me.

Yes I am really blessed to have found my way, my husband/friend, my boys/angels, and the very dear friends who have seen me at all states of healing. I also count my mother's family as a blessing. As they are not perfect, they gave me a place to be when I was little. There was no crazy talk, no force fed pseudo baptist talk, no smelly incest play, no Italian bashing etc. They just let me laugh, play and be a little girl.

In an odd way, I must count my father's family as a blessing. Because of the life they exposed me to, I grew to be strong, determined, persistent, and driven to find my path. I am not certain who I would be without my past, but I most certainly know it is not one to repeat.

So here I am, blessed for being me and liking/loving me. I do have a good life, considering. I now work on those "situations" that need to be better. Again, more behaviours that I need to break. I find that some of my thoughts on life, have been so heavily influenced by my parents, that I need to find my own thoughts, void of their voice. It seems that their life lessons have become mine, becuase I wasn't aware I didn't need to inhert those. Working on those, but in the meantime, very happy with my life.

1 comment:

H-Star said...

hi! thanks for the comment. i'm almost functionally illiterate when it comes to this stuff, so ask away, nothing i do is complicated.