The Small Is Beautiful Manifesto

18 February, 2008

Run Ins from the Past!

Yikes, I was confronted with my past today at a children's story hour to celebrate the Chinese New Year! I took both boys to a local Chinese Restaurant for a celebration of the New Year. As I had shared the information with my eldest's school, there were some of his classmates there. J is one of the classmates that I hear a ton about. The boy who taught mine to mouth and arm fart, the one who usually starts the goofing off, my son can't seem to ignore, and the one who likes to play shooting games etc. at school. I hear a lot about J and it is annoying that my son is so enamored by him.

So here we are, having fun, learning about the children's celebration etc., when J's father walks in, stands by me and then says, "Did you go to Cloverleaf?" (highschool)... "why?" I respond... "Because you look familiar". "Yes, I did" and from there, I learned he was the boy who transferred in as a Junior. Honestly, I didnt' remember him and truthfully, I try to avoid anything that reminds me of highschool and bad memories.

I don't believe we ever talked in highschool, but as we talked today, I learned he ran into a few people that I did know, one in particular that I really had a hard time with... Angie K. Ugh... I only dated two guys after she dated them and had to hear of Angie this and Angie that from two guys! What a drag I tell ya. To make matters worse, she was always trying to remain friends and in highschool that isn't cool! I never liked her. We were in the same drama, show choir etc. and at times competed for parts. I did win, but still she was there, a dark lurking girl, a year older, but still there.

I always liked that song by the Rolling Stones, Angie.. but it was never quite the same after I met Angie K. The rest of my afternoon/evening, I have been festering inside with anxiety. I really didn't have a bad highschool, but the pressures of being popular, making the grade, fitting it, well it was hard and there are scares. I relived some of it tonight and it is just sticking to me like glue. Ugh, I need to get rid of it!

HELP!!!

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