07 October, 2008

Follow up on "Appropriate" Post

Some good suggestions were given on the past post, questioning Appropriate Sexual Behavior. I have also had some other thoughts on this topic since...

The real question is "What behavior is pushing this action to the surface?" When I was a girl, I know exactly why I was acting a certain way. I was trying to make sense of what happened to me and every now and then these actions would rise to the surface eventually getting me into BIG trouble. I remember thinking how bad I was whenever I would act a certain way, so I vowed to NEVER let that secret out. It was always met with HUGE punishment, spanking, degrading etc. (Now my parents know what happened to me and realize that it wasn't me. Still would have been nice to hear from them we are so sorry to have punished you so severely.) Oh well, water under the bridge, right?

But in the case of my child, his actions were truly innocent. I know his history and experiences. He was mimicking the love he sees and experiences from his parents. This was in the truest sense of innocence and I am glad to have realizes that now. It is a hard road for any survivor of abuse. So many questions we ask of ourselves as parents, as survivors. We also ask a lot of our children and partners along the way to keep it all together so we don't have an emotional trigger. Even if it is never stated, we ask all the same or at least hope and pray they help us in our quest to heal, remain healed and stay in a place of love and support.

I know the challenges will grow, change and challenge, but I do have a wonderful partner and a great support group of friends and family that help me along the way. I am blessed.

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