When one is unable to drift off peacefully to sleep, the mind starts to create, worry, contemplate, discover, budget, rethink, imagine, wonder, replay, scratch- for some odd reason it seems little bugs are on me when I am not sleeping..., fantasize, remember, and pray. All of these mental games were with me well into the wee hours of the morning. Most nights, I have no problem with falling to sleep. In fact it usually happens within 5 minutes during my prayers. I just drift off...
Last night, I was unable to. My prayers kept returning me to Easa, (Jesus), and Mary Magdalene. I also watched the Passion last night to prepare my thoughts on the most Holiest of Events, the Resurrection. It led to a discussion with hubbie that was not altogether horrible, but not the ones I imagine in my head filled with love, inspiration and spiritual fulfillment. I guess I don't know if I will ever share that with hubbie. It is something I so desire, but not certain if I will ever attain.
I said a full rosary last night, I prayed the six petal Our Father, in Gnostic Tradition, I called upon Archangel Michael the guardian saint of my Italian ancestors in Orsara and Saint Nicholas, the guardian saint of a place in Pulgia. As I woke this morning, I tried to remember when it was I actually went to sleep... but today I am rested, and eager for tomorrow's Glory.
In the wee hours we find our silence, our true self, I guess that is not at all bad and it can be restful.