Feeling a bit lonely these days. Actually the past couple of weeks, I realized that I was missing my friends. I miss talking to people that know me and we have a memory together. It seems we are all so very busy, family, work, social obligations, hobbies, routines etc. Of course this isn't helped by the simple fact, all of my friends live miles away! I mean miles!
Where most friends are down the block or a short drive away, mine span the country and an ocean or two. When friends gather and make plans for dinner, the movie, shopping, hanging out, well I just don't do that. Actually I haven't done that for quite some time. Last time that really happened was back in 1999. Since that time, I married and moved with mystikman. We moved there and then there and now here.
The most constant contact I have is with my family and I spent a good 2 years in turmoil because of that contact. It was harsh, cruel and not nurturing. Things have improved and the contact is not painful anymore.
But this doesn't take away that from time to time I miss my friends. I miss growing in conversation, dialogue what have you. The boys provide ample interaction and mystikman is good company, but there is something to be said for good friends.
I have made some new friends and look forward to growing these relationships, but where does that leave the old ones? We seem to be spreading out and walking away from each other.
Let me provide a visual...imagine me in the center with a handful of people walking away making a firework explosion pattern. All of my friends hail from different times of my life in different locations of my life. I honestly can say 2 people became friends of mine at the same time. They couldn't be more different and they are not really friends. They were only brought together via me. But the rest I found along my path, college, Urbino, Masters Degree, London, VISTA, (sorry still don't want to refer to this as AmeriCorps), NOLA, NY and now Miami.
All these different stops along they way, I made some really great friends that wanted to go in the same direction. Now we all have split up and taken a different route. Maybe I want to meet up again at a familiar train stop? Maybe that is all I need to feel connected again? I don't' know, but I am admitting, which I rarely do, that I miss my friends. I miss the laughter, the fun, the hugs, the serious talks, the exchange of ideas. Yes I miss the exchange.
Having said this, I love MystikMan! He is my constant my touchstone. I appreciate him, even when he pesters me!