More often than not, most people would categorize my husband as a happy go lucky guy. He is the one that doesn't show strong opinions, doesn't raise his voice and usually gives into the boys. I on the other hand, have strong convictions, use my voice to my liking when needed and enjoy the Italian gesturing, I have learned via my family.
There are a choice few topics, however, that turn my husband into the ugly monster. If money and his parents come up in the same sentence watch out! He starts to cut me off, not listen, preface everything he says with his thoughts and just out and out right not listen to me at all. He raises his voice and starts to say mean little nasty comments about the topic at hand.
I think he reverts to some adolescent boy who still lives with his parents. He acts childish and says things that seem so out of character for him.
Funny when I came home tonight, I was looking forward to chatting with my husband about our lives today and the events that took place. I shared some conversations with freinds and family and usually he enjoys listening to the thoughts discussed. But what just happened was I brought up the topic of his parents and the idea that they might want to give us money for any reason. (There is a huge long involved story about why money is needed and I am not ready to post that out there in cyberspace, but suffice it to say, the conversation started and he just turned ugly). It is as if his being has some sort of internal censor. Once the idea is introduced, he turns on a dime and just gets ugly!
I really have to admit, I hate it, just hate his behaviour. It completely upsets me and brings my blood to a boil. Obviously, I think he needs to mature about the subject, but more importantly he doesn't listen to a damn thing I say. He just tunes me out and starts spouting off at the mouth how his parents will never do this or that and stop pretending they will and this and that and the other. Well if he would have heard me, he would have heard that I wasn't asking for anything and I was relaying a conversation I had with a friend who had some advice on how he should handle himself when this idea of money and his parents come up. That was all.
Would I like it if his parents helped us out financially? It certainly would be nice to have had a down payment for a house like they gave his sister. It certainly would be nice to have had them pitch in over 15 grand for a wedding, that wasn't even as nice as ours. It certainly would be nice to have them handle all of our dirty work that needs to be done when dealing with sales people and such. I mean, wouldn't anyone like to have a helping hand now and again?
But do I expect anything from them? No, I do not. They haven't done for us yet, why would they start now. However, if they did offer us a helping hand at this juncture in our lives, it would be nice to know that my husband would be able to accept it with humility and openness, instead of turning in the ugly monster. You see, at this point in our lives, we are in a very difficult financial picture. Some of the commitments made by others, in our lives, did not come through and it has left us holding the bag. We are extremely stressed out about our steps and have no real idea when our situation will change.
At a time like this, my husband and I should be able to comfort each other and try to prepare ourselves for any possibility. All I know is the ugly monster needs to leave our house immediately!