21 February, 2009

Beautiful and Fierce!

Family ties, do they really bind? If so, let me be the one to break them! A call came today from one of my mother's sisters. This particular aunt is one in which I have forged a relationship with in Atlanta. There were times I lived with them between my "ins and outs" of Atlanta. It was one of those, "Let the cat out of the bag" talks were I learned why my cousin spent 3 days in jail.

As I listen to the details, my mind was racing back to when I was a teenager. There was no way in the world, I would have made those choices. There were certain things I revered and the law was one of them. I have a hard time connecting with the younger generation. The ones in my family have little to offer in terms of a contribution for society. There is this "I'll get mine", or the "World owes me" or the "I am too fragile, don't be so honest with me". The last one is basically a statement which means they don't' want to hear the truth, or be told flat out. It is too much and if you are blunt, they interpret it into being mean.

I grew up having my aunt's and uncles, great aunts and great uncles, great grandparents, grandparents and parents riding me. If I stepped out of line, made a poor choice; I heard about it, over and over and over again. Their choice of words were not sugar coated and I certainly didn't run home to mommy and complain about how mean they were being. What good would that have done? She would have said I deserved it.

God forbid, I dare speak my truth, be blunt, honest or just factual... if it isn't buttered up, it is considered mean and uncaring. You know, the world isn't this rosy place in which everyone's precious little feelings are held in tact. In fact, it is pretty ruthless. Having spent some time in Europe, it seems they have it down. There are no excuses for honesty. You deal with what you are dealt and move on. I didn't witness any sugar coating. Actually, they can tell an American straight away in the approach and lack of candor.

I am fed up with being the overbearing, over opinionated, mean cousin with the harsh delivery. Grow up, deal with life and maybe look inside yourself to see why a certain person's delivery bothers you. Why is it, we look for blame outside of ourselves? Is there no personal responsibility? When do we grow up and deal with life truthfully and honestly?

You know, when my boys make bad choices, they know about it. I don't brush it aside and say, "Well you tried". No. They made a bad choice and there is a consequence. I want them to be prepared for the world. I don't want them to fall apart when their boss berates them for the first time, or a love interest rips out their heart. They need to know life is brutal at times, but getting through it in tact, well that is worth celebrating!

What have you truly accomplished in life, if you made it through bruise free? Did you really experience the full depth of your inner spirit? Did you really challenge your thoughts, change your behaviors, learn something along the way?

I am forgetting myself...they make a pill to get you by these days... pain free. This is not me. I would rather deal with life head on and take my lumps. Because when I come across something truly breathtaking and beautiful, I will know it, feel it and experience it in its fullness and glory.

I have said it before, my life is mine and I refuse to take any more excuses from those who are not willing to accept their lives. I make no apologies for being the honest person I am. I worked hard to be me and I love who I am. This is to be celebrated not berated for being honest.

There is much for me to learn on my path, but I am willing to learn it. I wish family members would learn to do the same and accept their challenges.

Did I mention how much I love being here in Florida, on my own Island? I am isolated and surrounded by Mother Nature's awesome waters. Which are beautiful and fierce... much like me, Beautiful and Fierce....

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